zachthesquare.com

Sarah Palin’s Stigmata?

Zach — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:24:41 +0000

My First Joke on the Onion News Network

Zach — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:55:58 +0000

I should probably quit comedy while I’m ahead. My joke is the second scrolling headline, the one about the coma.

Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain

Somewhere.

Zach — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:53:45 +0000

I have a feeling that somewhere, at some time, a man named Rusty died of tetanus.

Birthdays.

Zach — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 03:10:02 +0000

My family never celebrated my birthday, since it was Christmas. We also never celebrated my brother’s birthday, since he was adopted.

Writer’s Block.

Zach — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 02:12:58 +0000

I’ve been trying to write more, but I think my major hang-up is that I use the same machine to write with as I use to masturbate.

Needless to say, I have competing interests. So, just when I finally get the nerve to finish the big script, I all of a sudden get curious about what kind of crazy things nurses can do. They can do a great deal, apparently. A great deal.

So I finally got serious and bought myself a typewriter, deciding it’s finally time to separate my two interests for good. Now, I just need to figure out how to use my typewriter to masturbate.

I’ll keep you posted.

These Amazing Boners: #84

Zach — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 03:08:31 +0000

For those who follow my blog, your familiar with my running segment on famous boners in history. For those new to the site, what I like to do is draw your attention, once a week, to points in time where boners played a major role during historical events.

This week’s segment is no different.

The time: January 28th, 2008. The place: Capitol Hill.

During the 2008 State of the Union Address, George W. Bush moved his fellow countrymen to such a great degree, using hit superb wit and “gee-gosh” charm, that nearly half of those in attendance were unable to rise during a standing ovation due to massive erections.

Those with boners, who coincidentally were all sitting on the same side of the room, where seen squirming, visibly uncomfortable with the situation. The situation being, of course, their raging hard-ons.

This concludes this week’s entry into These Amazing Boners. Hopefully the lesson you take away is that boners are not only natural, but also completely American.

Rough Year

Zach — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:20:35 +0000

I had a really rough time last year, because I had a friend who died.

Then I had a really tough time this year, because I found out he was just avoiding my phone calls.

RE: Barrack Obama VP Choice Text Message

Zach — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 22:20:07 +0000

Progress.

Zach — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 01:34:29 +0000

I want thank all of you for your feedback concerning our latest video, Racism In America. Your responses have been overwhelming. Each of you has shared your stories of race, and how far we’ve come as a nation. Can you believe it’s already been forty years since those Russel Crowe laws were in effect. The time really flies.
I don’t need to tell you how far we’ve come. I honestly believe that - in my lifetime - we’ll see a black man as a mayor. I honestly believe that.

Thanks again for the responses.

Racism In America - A Cool Guygot Short

Zach — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 16:51:01 +0000

Racism In America from Cool Guygot on Vimeo.