A Collection of Highly Accurate Fortune Cookies
Sometime you get the fortune that just stops you in your tracks. Sometimes the fortune predicts you stopping in your tracks.
Here are a few of my all time favs:
This year will be one filled with money and friends. Oh, wait, I didn’t realize this was you, Zach. Could you pass this message to Tim Landry.
You’re losing touch with your friends. And you’re losing your hair.
Love is around the corner. Waaaaayyyy around the corner. Fag.
You really need to return Bambi II. What’s it been, a week?
Life is full of many rivers and mountains and streams and car troubles and financial woes and cheating girlfriends and dandruff and tooth decay.
You really shouldn’t wear yellow.
God gives many gifts. But apparently doesn’t distribute equally.
There’s a time and place for genuine laughter. Need proof? Exit the room and wait.
Time passes when you’re having fun. So enjoy the herp!
Hey, remember the time you overthrew home plate and lost the big game. Good times.
You’re destined to live the rest of your life with your mother. In Branson, Missouri.
Filed by Zach at June 26th, 2007 under Articles.